๑۩۞۩๑ Ñº®m'$ Vîèw ๑۩۞۩๑: Entertainment

This Theory Works For Me..... LOL

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:35:09 GMT

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this .

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Thoughts Of Summer

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 17:46:22 GMT

Your Fishing Pole

There is something about you, something in your soul
something that seems to surround your fishing pole….

You moved to the coast, now that’s no lie
And we had a hard time with that little goodbye
But no need for heartache, no need to console
You had your boat and your fishing pole.

You know everyday you go out to fish
it’s like a genie granting every little wish
every time that bobber goes out of control
we know you are happy with your fishing pole.

Now on birthdays it’s special out on the water
I hear if you’re there, they’ll jump for the slaughter
You’ll be piling them in like your lucks on a roll
Reeling them in with your fishing pole

So today of all days take heed and relax
Pack up a cooler with drinks and some snacks
put on your shoes and go take a stroll
Down to your boat with your fishing pole.

Kathleen J. Shields

Smart Ideas Always Come Back And Bite You In The Ass, lol......

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:52:04 GMT

Roping A Deer. (Names have been removed to protect the stupid!) Actual Letter from someone who writes and farms...

______________________________________________________

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it..it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt . A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes
to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run , it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey...

Remembering Mom And Dad..........

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:03:44 GMT

The bodies have been stilled, but the heart beats on.
Talented minds have been silenced, but the soul continues shine.
Voices have been quieted, but the teachings continue.

Trumpets do not thunder to honor their passing. There are no sounds or sights to praise their existence. But they are here standing next to us when we make decisions, when we teach our children, and how we live our lives.

At times moving us with a ham-handed slap on the butt or a “Well, you’d better get it done,” they pushed us to make a life of our own, all the while sweetly cajoling us in the right direction.

When the need arose we traveled from point A to B to C to D to E and through nearly half the alphabet and were able to see the county through several different panes of glass. This forever taught us the value of the word, home.

Then there were the broken bones, perennial floods in the basement and Dad’s lovely feet that could have cleared a cow pasture of every living thing. Fights in the living room allowed us to get to know each other better while others wandered away. All of this we will remember, talk and laugh about, until our days are silenced silenced in favor of a new generation.

Three men are on their own now. With the new generation to care for we have taken from the wisdom and courage of our parents and set the cycle of life in motion again. They are and will always be here, teaching, while we learn and teach. Bye Mom, Dad, it's time to go.

You will be forever in my mind until it's my time to go and then I'll see you again.

Norm
Unknown author adapted by Norm

Finally I Sold My Guns......

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 05:50:27 GMT

GUNS FOR SALE


With the present guns laws, I have finally decided

to sell all my guns. We have an active archery club

here in Quesnel and I decided to join it.

The price of the bow is rather expensive, but with

the sale of the guns I should be able to afford to

purchase the equipment and pay the club fees.

I have attached a pictures of the bow; it is state

of the art.

As I Mature I Have Learned A Few Things .....

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 05:45:51 GMT

I Have Known Some People Who Have Went Through This And Maybe Are Still Going Through This.....

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 05:43:25 GMT

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVERPICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!
I'm sorry. What was the question?

And This Is From A Woman's Point Of View......Gag....LOL

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:22:51 GMT

FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

14. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

19. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

23. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

24. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

25. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

26. Men forget everything; women remember everything.

27. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened

A Joke From My Friend Carol.... It's Sounds Like Me....

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:29:06 GMT

Just wanted to give you this warning so you'd be on the Lookout !

There's absolutely no cause for Alarm.

This is just to prepare you for the Event.

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee

cannot take care of this one.

It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

Xara 3d And How To Start And Save Animation.....

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 03:24:51 GMT

This is for you Caroline.

To get started follow the directions below.

The "Text options" box below shows up when you click on the "T" on left side of main page of Xara 3D. Choose your type of font and click on the text and hit "Delete" and type in your own text. Then click "Ok" .

To start animation click on "View" and scroll down to "Start animation" .

Make sure you are happy with your creation. Check out the many fonts and colors and animation controls Xara 3d has. Change direction of animation and lighting. Uncheck the shadow box on left side of the Xara mainpage in the double SS box. It gives you a clearer image.

If you want to slow down the animation before you save your creation, click on "Options" at top of Xara 3D and go down pop down list to "Animate" .

A box appears with "Animation options" . Top of the box it gives you an option of "Frames per cycle" . Delete numbers in the little box and try "100" . That will slow down the animation. Play with the numbers to speed up and slow down animation. The higher the number the slower the speed.

Also when the animation is running you can left click and hold the spinning animation and change angle of the animation. It requires deftness of hand.

After you have created your animation and you are ready to save your creation and share it with friends, go to "File" top left. Go down pop down list to "Export animation".

Pick a folder where you want to save it and give it a name. Save as type ".gif" under the name you give it.

Next a box appears with a bunch of choices in it. "Size" "Color depth" etc.

To make it simple when you are just starting off, leave "Color depth" alone. Depending on what size your animation is, change numbers in "Size". Try width at "400" and height at "150" if you are making a spinning one line sign.

"Pallette" should be "Optimized" . Put check in "Transparent" in the "Options" box.

"Dithering" should be on "None".

Click "Save"

You have saved the .gif animation to your folder as a spinning sign with a transparent background. Or whatever you have chosen to make, maybe a button.

I still make mistakes with "Size" Don't shut down xara until you are happy with the result. Make changes in "Export animations" with "size" until you are happy, just remember to change name when you are saving it, or just dump the animation you are not happy with in your folder. So you don't have too many, lol.

A new toy to play with lol.

Norm uses "File Den" and "Photobucket" for file storage.

Have A Great Easter Everyone.......

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:04:57 GMT

'TWAS THE DAY BEFORE EASTER

'Twas the day before Easter
..and all through the woods,
The bunnies were busy
packing their goods.
The eggs were all colored
so pretty and bright,
All things were "go"
for the big, special night.

The baskets were waiting,
all decorated with care,
In hopes that the Bunny
soon would be there.
My little brother Sam
was asleep in his bed,
While visions of Easter eggs
rolled round his head.

And I in my pajamas
with the cat on my lap,
I had just settled down
for a quick little nap.
When outside the window
I heard a great noise,
I sprang from my chair
and jumped over some toys.

As quick as a flash
to the window I flew,
I pulled up the shade
and, OH, what a view.
The moon on the meadow
cast a bright golden glow
And the wind blew the flowers
to and then fro.

Then all of a sudden
from out of nowhere,
Came some lively bunnies,
hopping here, hopping there!
Leading the group
with ears long and funny
Was a plump, all-white rabbit...
That's right...the EASTER BUNNY!

The bunnies hopped past,
one, two, three, four,
The rabbit called out
and then there were more.
"Come, Peter!, Come, Flopsy!,
Come, Benny!, Come, Joe!
Now hop along! Hop along! Hop along! GO!"

So up on each doorstep
the bunnies did hop,
With baskets of eggs.
(Let's hope they don't drop)!
Just at that moment,
on the porch down below,
Came the stomping of feet
'Twas the rabbit, I know!

As I stepped from my window
I heard a loud sound.
Through the door came the rabbit
with a leap and a bound.
He was furry and soft
from his head to his feet.
To see him so close
was really quite neat.

He was surrounded by eggs
that had been carefully dyed.
Easter eggs galore he soon would hide.
His eyes were all twinkles,
His nose was so pink,
And I can't be too sure,
but I think he did wink.

He had a kind face
and a big fluffy tail
That bobbed up and down
like a boat with a sail.
A twitch of his nose
and a flick of his ear
Was his way of saying,
"You've nothing to fear."

He uttered no sound
as he hopped all about
Hiding the eggs and leaving no doubt,
That the Easter bunny had come
like he does every year...
Bringing baskets of happiness
to children so dear.

from JohnPaul of Homespun

How To Make Your Own Tubes For Corel PSPP XI

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 19:24:05 GMT

Making a tube or a (.tub) with "Corel PSPP XI" .

To use other paint shop programs you will have to look for similar tools in them.

This was my first time trying to make a tube. It went very well. I had drawn a cartoon caricature of myself for old camcorder films I made, for the opening credits. It was just an above the waist cartoon. For this demo I wanted a full figure shot. I taped on legs that I added and colored them. This entire thing was drawn with pencil and colored pencils. OK.

(1) Taped together I scanned it into my computer, saved as a "jpeg" picture.

(2) You'll notice that it has a white background. To make your first tube, try a picture of an object with a white background, it's easier to erase. (Sorry about the digit, lol)

I obviously have rights to this picture so you may try it, if you wish. Download "HERE" . Save as "jpeg" .

(3) Open up "Corel PSPP XI" .

(4) Click on "File" then "Open" . Open picture you want to make a tube (.tub) out of.

(5) Click on "Background Eraser Tool" in list of tools on left.

Try erasing some of the background. If the eraser is too big, click and hold "Alt" button on your keyboard and mouse drag the eraser. You will see it shrink or get bigger. I found it was easier to use a smaller eraser to erase close to the object. Bigger, to cover the bulk of the background.

(6) Now carefully start erasing around the object. You should see a checkerboard pattern where you erase. This means it is transparent.

To get as accurate as possible, I found it handy to click on the "Zoom In" button, above right.

This gives you a closer look at what you are doing and how you are doing. When you are zoomed in, you can see where you missed a lot easier too.

(7) When you are satisfied click on "File" then "Save As" . Save as a "PSPimage" . This saves it as a tube that you can use. To "Save" your tube in the Corel Tube file so you can use it with "Tube Tool" go to "File" then "Export" then "Picture Tube" and give it a name. Now you can access it through the "Picture Tube Tool" .

(8) To try out your tube (.tub) close Corel and reopen. It's easier. This starts you fresh.

(9) Open a background you would like to use. "File" then "Open" . You can use a blank background by clicking on "New" .

(10) Now open your tube. If tube is too big for your background, you will want to resize it. First make sure it is the active image by clicking on it. Then go to "Image" then "Resize" at top of page. This one I set "Width" and "Height" to "75" .

This percent of image size. In otherwords when you click "OK" it will reduce active tube or picture to 75 percent of it's current size. I use that setting so it doesn't shrink it too much too fast. Each time you use this setting it will reduce the size to 75 percent of it's current size.

(11) On right of workspace you will see "Layer" pallette. A small picture of your tube should be there. If not click on your tube to make it active. Now click and drag small picture in "Layer" pallette onto your "Background" and drop. It will appear in your "Background" picture. If you want to reposition it, click on "Move Tool" on left tool column. Click on tube in picture and drag it where you want it.

(12) This is what I made following these instructions. I added a guitar tube and a border from my files.

(13) You are done, have fun making your own tubes, the ideas are endless.

Norm Uses "Fileden" For Storing files.

Making A Very Simple GIF With JASC PSP 7

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:36:49 GMT

Making a simple .gif With PSP 7

    You can make this as difficult or as easy as you want. These instructions have tons of pictures to help you through.
1. Open up JASC PSP 7. Go to "Background Color" button on top right.
(run mouse over two little color boxes. One says "Background Color" and one is "Foreground Color") . Click on Background color. Another box appears "Color" . Choose color, I picked red. Click "OK" .
  2. Click on "File" then "New" at top left.

3. A "New Image" box appears. Set the size to "500 by 500" . A 500x500 Background box appears, it has a red background. Now you are ready for adding tubes from psp 7.

4. Click on "Picture Tubes" button on left in tools column.

5 Now go to "Window" at top then click on "Duplicate" .


Now you have two backgrounds. Once more, so you have three. Make sure you click first picture to foreground so it is active.

6. Now click on "View" then "Toolbars" at top left.

A "Tool Bars" box appears. Put a check in "Tool Options Palette" .

This opens a box called "Tool Options - Picture Tubes" . Click on tiny arrow. Tube choices appear. I chose "Green Ball" . When you make your choice your mouse becomes a wand. Touch your background picture and ball will appear. To delete go to "Edit" and click "Undo Picture Tube" .  To use outside tubes go to "File" then "Open" and open tube you want to use. Now go to "View" then "Toolbars" and put check in "Layer Pallette" . Click on your tube in "Layer Pallette" and drag and drop on your background picture. Click on "Move Tool" on left to move the tube on your picture. To "Resize" tube before you drop in on background, click on "Image" button then "Resize" and play with the numbers. To add another tube repeat process.
7. For this demo, touch picture 1, several times across top. Repeat with picture 2, except touch picture several times across center. Repeat with picture 3, except touch picture across bottom. So you have now 3 pictures with green balls in different places.

       Bring first picture back to top of pile.
8. Go to top and click on "File" then "Save As" . Save each picture to a folder where you can find them easy.

9. Now open Animation Shop, and click on "Animation Wizard" at top left. Animation dimensions box will open. Put "500x500" in appropriate boxes or "Same size as first image"and click "Next" .

    Next is centered in frame choices, choose "center in frame" and Proceed with the preceeding frames contents. Click "Next" .
10. Next is "Canvas Color" click "Transparent" . Animation loop box is next. Bigger number the slower the animation is.

11 "Load Images" box is next. Load images you have stored, 1,2,3,.

12. Now click "Next" and "Finish" . You go back to workspace with your three pictures on it in a row. Now click "View" at top then "Animation" . Animation will play.

13 Click "File" and "Save As" to the same folder as your other 3 pictures so you can find it. If animation is too fast or too slow you have to start again.
14. Also note you can use any picture you want as a background and you can use more or less than three copies for animation. I found three was enough for this demo. With more pictures it also makes the file bigger, longer to load.
15. Have fun with your animated .gif. For this demo I reduced the size to "300x300" for space saving.

Norm Uses "Fileden" For Picture Storage.

How to Make Your Own Gifs In Corel PSP XI

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 21:37:56 GMT

   First Thing To Do Is Have Patience And Do Everything 12 Times Like I Did, LOL.

                First you need "Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI" and also you need "Jasc Animation Shop 3" . I don't know of a free trial for "JASC Animation Shop 3" , sorry but here is a free animation program that works, that is called Animator-9 3.6.  Animator-9 3.6 is not customizable and very basic. Just to prove a point, the finished .gif animation at the bottom was made by Animator-9 3.6.

You can download trial version "HERE" of Corel PSP.

When it downloads it will add a folder to your "Documents" file called "My PSP Files" . It is empty. My suggestion is to search the internet for "tubes" (.tub file types) and download them into the appropriate subfile. Tubes are pictures of all sizes, all shapes, designs, that you can drag onto your project. They are easy to find there, in the subfile folders. Download a few to begin with so as not to get confused like me, lol. Also get some "Backgrounds" to add to your "PSP Files" subfolders. You might have to add a new folder and name it "Backgrounds" . OK now we're off.

1.Once you have "Corel Paint Shop Pro Photo XI" , open it up, get familiar with the whole page setup. I haven't explored it completely but this is just about making your .gif. It will look like image below.

2. Now go to top left corner click on "File" then "New" .

A "New Image" box appears. You will notice in the illustration below that I have set the dimensions of my project to "500 Width" by "500 Height" and the color to "Transparent" . Leave other settings alone, click "OK" .

.
A box with a checkerboard pattern appears in your workspace.

3. Now you are ready to add a background then tubes.

4. Go to top left and click on "File" then "Open".

Open your "PSp Files" folder and find a background you want to use. My choice is an angel with a black background. It is helpful if you resize background to the same size as your project box ahead of using it. "500x500" or go to "Image" button at top then "Resize" . When you open your picture to "PSP XI" it will appear on top of your project box. It will also appear in your "layers box" on right. Move the big picture down so you can see the checkerboard a bit. Mouse click on the "layers box" small picture and drag it onto your checkerboard box and drop it. You will see that it fills in the frame nice with no checkerboard showing. If checkerboard shows the picture is the wrong size. Go to "Image" then "Resize" and make a change or right click small picture in layer and click "Delete" . It will delete picture from your project frame. Delete big one too if you don't want it.

5. But if you want it, the next step is adding tubes for decoration. The program has some built in tubes. Click on the

"Picture Tube" button at left of work space.

At top left a little box appears looking like this.
Click on the little arrow and you will see choices. Click on your choice and your cursor will change to a wand. Touch your picture in the workspace where you want to add tube. It appears. You will see it appears in little "Layers box" on right too. To delete it, right click small picture in "Layers" box and hit "Delete" , it will disappear off project.

6. I am going to add a tube of a little angel tube from my collection in "My PSP Files" . I hit "File" then "Open" , make my choice and it appears over my project and also in "Layers" box.

You can see that the little angel has a checkerboard background. It is a tube file. (.tub)

Move picture over project so you can see your background picture. Drag and drop small image from layers box onto the

project. It will appear in center of project. To move go up and click on "Move Tool" .
Now grab the angel or whatever ,with mouse and move it, where you want.

7. Adding text is easy, click on "Text" button on left tools selection and follow directions.

8. For adding more tubes just repeat steps as I added angel.

9. You can add a simple "Border" at top of page click on "Image" then "Add Borders" or "Picture Frame" , whichever you want. Make sure border dimensions are the same as your project. "Size in Pixels" is thickness of border and pick a "Color" . If you are happy with choices, click "OK" . I have picked red for my border because it stands out against the black color of the background.

  Border appears on project. If you are unhappy with border go up to "Edit" at top then "Undo Add Border" .

10. If you are happy with your project, it's time to add something you want to "sparkle" or "flash" on and off.

11. I like stars. But first go to "Window" button on top and hit "Duplicate" .

A duplicate picture appears on top of your original. Do it one more time, so you have three pictures stacked up.

Go to top and click "File" then "Open" . open your star file or whatever and add it like the other tubes. Try three stars on each copy of the picture but put them in different places.

12. Click on "File" then "Save As" and save each picture as a "jpeg" to your picture folder.

13. Open Jasc Animation Shop 3 and click on animation wizard and follow directions.

Try your animation. If you are happy, you have your "animated gif" . If you don't like it, dump it and try again. It took me quite a few times to get mine to where I was happy. Below is finished product. I reduced the size of the three pictures used here to "300x300" for space saving here.

                 Norm Uses "Fileden" For Instruction Picture Storage.

My Cousin Barb Emailed This To Me, It Is So True.....

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 18:20:24 GMT

I love my computer but......................
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer.